Parents
You should now know what birth order your son or daughter is and which variables affect their birth order. However there is one other variable that happens to be very crucial with birth order and the second child syndrome, you parents.
"What you expect out of your children and how you treat them is what they will become."
Dr. Kevin Leman
Herjawan, Natasha. "The Sisters." 2012. JPEG
What Does Your Second Child Need?
- To be assured that his place in the family is very crucial, and what he thinks and feels matters.
- To be encouraged in his areas of strength, his talents.
- To be given the oppurtunity and freedom to open up and share with his family.
- To have a good group of friends because they will play a big role in his life.
Purba, Grace. "Bro and Sis." 2006. JPEG
Personality Styles
Every parent have different personalities whn it comes to teaching their children, they have different "Personality styles." There are parents who are the relaxed type, the strict types who always keep schedule, and those who are easy-going.Some are perphaps somewhere between. Which one are you? Your personality style is substantially relevant with how you connect with your children, including the second child.
Hypothetically, lets say your child is 20 minutes late to come out of school. What would you do as a parents? Would you sit and worry in your car? Imagining if a kidnapper has snatched your child away? Or would you just sit back, turn on the radio and enjoy the waiting time?
Parents who are more relaxed usually have more relaxed and fun loving children. Those who make their children have five different after-school activities in a week uusually creates children who don't know how to relax and in the end they will create their own fun. There are also who like to please their children by buying them everything that they desire. Those children will think that the world is "all about them" and they will have the mentality that anything asked would be given.
Each of these examples are linked to personality style, or you could also call it parenting style. How a parent teaches and raises their child will surely influence who the child will become, which includes the uprising of the second child.
Parenting Your Second Child
The second child is either the last child, or the middle child. You have to keep in mind that the second child is used to feeling squeezed, left out, and neglected. After all, the second child has to deal with the perfect older brother, or the baby brother who gets all the attention. Sometimes the second child wonders if his home is actually where he belongs.
As the parent, "The best thing you can do for your second child is to show him that he has a special place in the family, and his thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter and you want to hear them." (Dr. Kevin Leman) Most second children are very shy and more easygoing, thus they are reluctant to open up. Therefore, make sure that the second child is encourages to express himself and share with the family
Second of all, you should always encourage the second child in his areas of strength. Every child has a strong point, a talent. You should find this strong point and let the child know for themselves. Talents are often part of a child's identity, having the child know of his talents could build confidence within him. Therefore it is important to have your child excell in his talents, even if it takes a little push.
You should also help your second child to make friends. Making friends would help the second child because it practices the child to commit to relationships as well as working to keep the friendship going. Therefore allow them to spend time with their friends and if possible, try to even get to know those friends because all that will put a smile in their hearts.
Lastly, make sure you give the second child the opportunity to share with you. Sharing will lead to a healthier relationship. Schedule activities like playing sports or go on an errand with your child so he could share. Talking in the car is also a fantastic option because it would be less stress to look out the window and communicate compared to the sit-down face to face talk.
Singvi, Raghav. "Family." 2013. JPEG
2ND CHILD SYNDROME
