Second Child Syndrome
So basically, second child syndrome is when the second child acts more compulsive and abnormaly due to the lack of attention that he/she receives. This results them to feel neglected and ignored. It also causes the compulsive behavior which is actually just to seek attention from family, friends and other people.
Behaviour & Symptoms
The behaviour of the second child is usually completely opposite with the first-born. Second childs feel a certain amount of pressure as if their parents are strongly comparing them with the first-born, to make them be like their elder sibling. This doesn't always happen, not every parent strongly compares their children. However all this including the neglection and lack of attention which second children feel, causes them to be rebellious, attention seeker, emotional, compulsive, etc. Unlike the first-born who tend to be cautious, reliable, responsible, and achievers. The traits are completely opposite. But there are positives in being a second child. Due to the neglection within the family, second children will tend to be closer with friends. Therefore second children also are people pleasers, they thrive on friendships, they have large social groups, and they are the peacemakers of the family.
These are the symptoms of people suffering from second child syndrome:
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Low self esteem
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Shyness
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Diplomats/Peacemakers
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Jealous
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Problem children/Misbehaviour (crave attention)
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Social withdrawal
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No sense of direction (life)
Exceptions/ Variables
Spacing
Spacing is related to the age gaps between the children. The age gaps is actually a very important variable. If the age gap between the children are more than five or six years, the next child born (the second child) will adapt to firstborn personality traits. This may happen even if he/she is a lastborn. However because he/she is the youngest and will be pampered in the family, they will still have lastborn characteristics.
Adoption
If a child is adopted while he is still an infant, his birth order will be determined by the family he is adopted into. However, if the child is adopted after the age of three, his birth order has already been determined by the family he has been with before the adoption. This means if a four year old child with firstborn traits is adopted to a family that has a six year old as their firstborn, there will be struggles with the transition. The two children may fight a lot as they both have firstborn traits.-
Physical, Emotional, or Mental Differences
Suppose that the firstborn child is smaller than normal, suppose that he/she has a physical disability. Then a secondborn child is born without those conditions. Since birth, his/her body is already bigger than the elder sibling. It is certain that people will think of the secondborn as the firstborn in the family. Therefore, the personality traits are reversed. The same thing happens if the firstborn has emotional or mental conditions like ADHD or Down syndrome.
Gender
Gender is also a crucial variable. If the firstborn is a male and the secondborn is a female, that female will most likely have firstborn characteristics. The reason to this is because she is the firstborn female within the family. Therefore there wouldn't be much competition between the children and she won't need to act completely opposite with her brother to gain attention.
Elaine. Regina. "Smiling Girl." 2013. JPEG
Elaine. Regina. "Jeremiah." 2013. JPEG
"The biggest thing to remember about birth order is that we are affected and influenced the most by whoever is directly above us in the family?"
Hariga, Cahyarini. "Caca and Ryuta." 2004.JPEG
Sibling Death
If the older sibling has a accident and dies early in his life, his younger sibling may take up a step in the birth order. This means the second child will take the responsibilities of the firstborn and will adapt to firstborn traits. This usually is seen with young childrem, birth order with tem can change easily and naturally. For example if the eldest son, a 18 year old died in a car accident, then the 15 year old brother will become the next firstborn.
Blended Families
When two families join together, there is a possibility for conflict regarding the birth order. Every family must have their own firstborn, secondborn, lastborn, etc. When they join, the children may have to give up his place in the family. For example if family one has three children with ages 2,4, and 6. While family two has three children with ages 10, 12, and 14. Certainly that the eldest child from family one will no longer act as the firstborn in the family. This will change the birth order structure of the family and the children might adapt to new personality traits.
Dr. Kevin Leman
2ND CHILD SYNDROME
